Having breakfast at SNSagar. Was sitting in front of this guy, who was gulping plate after plates of breakfast, Idli, Poori, BBBath, Pongal and whatnot. On chatting him up, found out that he is a druggie and after a heavy dose he had slept for three long days. Yes, without any food and water. Now I know, where that huge appetite for BF came from. However, the reason for chatting up with the druggie was to get into conversational mood (very much required if you are sleep deprived and tired of rigorous gym-ming). 'coz I wanted to get in mood for a smalltalk with this cute girl who was there along with her UG friends.
I planned as to how to chat up with the girl. I planned up things like what to open with (BTB I am trying on direct openers these days). What would be my follow up story ? Logistics and pretty much everything that is sufficient. But, when the time was ripe. Weird thoughts took control of my mind. What if she rejected me ? What if I don't get a proper response? What if I C&B and all the other people at the restra laughed at me? She is not even hot. And whole bunch of other weird thoughts. The result, I chickened out, came home and 'glorified her name' (if you know what I mean ;-).
I know, all these thought bubbles are just a manipulation of my AA. If I want to improve my personality, rejections doesn't even matter and approaches sure will. Still I am not able to get this thing outta my head. But whatever it is I am bound to succeed, nobody can stop the 'determined me'. I just have to remember that there is nothing called the next time and just do it the next time ;-). Next opportunity, I might be wingless or might be at the shabbiest of my state or may be in fucked up mindset. I have decided that I gotta do it. For, I don't wanna feel like 'THE JACKASS'.
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