Its altogether a different feeling when you are meeting (at least trying to :-) new people amidst your day to day activities. I feel that finally (after so much of struggle, and practice) meeting new ppl is becoming so much so like a second nature to me. I am opening in all sorts of places. Street while on the way to work. Coffee shops while I am out with my cousins. While with friends. I want to be at a stage where I do not specifically want to go out to meet new ppl.
The other day me and my cousin were hanging out at this JPNagar CCD. My cousin is kinda natural guy (but unfortunately doesn't do cold calls.) He points out to me that a lonewolf 9 just walked in and is sitting "over there". It takes a while for me to pump myself before I get myself to approach her.
I walk up as she finished her sandwich. I pulled a chair in front of her with a big smile. And park my ass right next to her. I extend my arm towards her.
Me : Hi, I am Preetham.
HB : ( 90% Neutral 10% Pissed ) I don't know you!!!
Me :(Still the hand stretched out and still smiling) Thats why I am introducing my self. I am Preetham.
HB : (80%:20%:P) So!!!
I let my hand stay there in front of her. Hoping at least that leaving it there would make the moment so uncomfortable that she would have to eventually shake hands with me. But she is a tough nut to crack. I leave the palm in front of her for about 7-8seconds. But no luck.
Me : (Pointing to myself) Me and my cousin (Pointing to my cousin) over there were just about to leave the cafe. I saw you.. just want to come and say you a Hi.
HB : (Perfect blank.. no expression) (Starts sorting out her bill)
I sit there for about 5 more seconds before realizing that it is going anywhere but down.
Me : (Smile wide) It was pleasure meeting you (no not the sarcastic vibe but sincere vibe). Have a nice evening miss.
As I walk back to my cousin. I punch the air with my fist. And re-iterate to myself "Congrats you did your approach of the day".
Just as we came out side CCD. I had to attend a call. My cousin notices that the same HB is coming out of the CCD and is kinda staring at me while she ejects the place. (Girls.. aren't they crazy!!!). I couldn't notice her 'coz I am facing away from the exit of the CCD.
I thought about the approach later. I would have preferred pacing the approach before actually going for the introduction. If we notice above that I introduce myself first and then pace it (may be I was nervous.. quite possible). Thus it occurred to me that its time to structure/refine my approach.
Elements that I would like to incorporate in my approach.
1. Politeness (even at the expense of alphaness)
2. Outcome independent.
3. Coolness and composedness.
4. Mix of laid back and being interested.
Structure :
1. Have a big smile even before you approach:
You are already having fun. Plus the smile increases the attractiveness of your face by at least 10 times.
2. Begin with a "Excuse me":
This might come across as less alpha. But makes approach more polite and decent. You come across as less player like.
3. Get them to answer your first question with a yes:
Yes -> Acceptance. Once they accept you its kinda difficult to reject you. More often than not.. the Yes train continues.
Ex:
Me : Excuse me. If I ain't disturbing you can I sit by you for a minute.
She : Yes.
(Note the (false) time constraint as well)
4. Pace the intro. Genuine Compliment and introduce.
Ex : Me and my cousin were just about to leave the CCD I happen to notice you. I had to to come and meet you. 'Coz I think you have a great sense of dressing. I am Preetham.
5. Shake hands and get to know her name. If she has company, pay equal attention to her friends.
6. Banter, flirt and make their day.
7. Pace the close.
Example :- Lack of time have to run now. But definitely would like to hangout again. Lets swap numbers.
8. Ejecting (even if you are blown out) Smile at her. Sincerely thank her for talking and eject blissfully. Just make sure you convey using your body lang that u aren't affected by the outcome.
Ex : Blow out
She : Get the fuck off from here dude.
Me : Oh !!! Pardon me. didn't mean to offend you or something. It really was my pleasure meeting you. Have a wonderful day ahead. (smile and eject).
Now I have to get myself in the field and practice this. Check this space for updates on the results.
Monday, May 26, 2008
A funny set
I want to write about a funny set that we did on Friday.
Me and PBR. We both were hanging out on Brigade Road. We saw a Chinki Lonewolf standing all by herself. Not too great just about 6-6.5.
I nudge PBR to open it for Kicks. So we went indirect, with something like "Where is this Place ?". To which she says that she doesn't know.
Its PBRs first set of the day. And he is all set to eject. I sense that and drop a lil Hydrogen Bomb.
"The only reason we approached you is 'coz my friend kinda likes you and wanted a reason to come and talk to you.;-)".
She smiles. Not like "welcome I am all yours, sarge me" kinda smile. But more like a Polite smile. So PBR like continues with a routine. Which she was not into, 'coz she only checked her mobile all thru the routine. We grab her phone saying that its a nice phone and want to check it. We bust on her about how common that model is.
As, soon as I return the phone she calls her friends and asks them to come fast. PBR is all set to eject.. inspite of getting eyecoded for close. I get that PBR is not very much into her and won't go for close. Drake says something like "Gimme your number, we will hang out sometimes". The lonewolf went silent. So I push a bit more. Take my phone out and say something like "So your number is 9.." She gives in and tells me her digits.
As I was punching her number. I notice a Chinki male who peered over my shoulder and walked away and waited in distance. After I get the number, the lone wolf rushes off and joins the Chinki guy. And thus it occurs to us that its her boy friend. In front of whom we number closed his girl. Now, I know for sure that this is not a solid close. But what the heck.. it was at least worth a hearty laugh.
Me and PBR. We both were hanging out on Brigade Road. We saw a Chinki Lonewolf standing all by herself. Not too great just about 6-6.5.
I nudge PBR to open it for Kicks. So we went indirect, with something like "Where is this Place ?". To which she says that she doesn't know.
Its PBRs first set of the day. And he is all set to eject. I sense that and drop a lil Hydrogen Bomb.
"The only reason we approached you is 'coz my friend kinda likes you and wanted a reason to come and talk to you.;-)".
She smiles. Not like "welcome I am all yours, sarge me" kinda smile. But more like a Polite smile. So PBR like continues with a routine. Which she was not into, 'coz she only checked her mobile all thru the routine. We grab her phone saying that its a nice phone and want to check it. We bust on her about how common that model is.
As, soon as I return the phone she calls her friends and asks them to come fast. PBR is all set to eject.. inspite of getting eyecoded for close. I get that PBR is not very much into her and won't go for close. Drake says something like "Gimme your number, we will hang out sometimes". The lonewolf went silent. So I push a bit more. Take my phone out and say something like "So your number is 9.." She gives in and tells me her digits.
As I was punching her number. I notice a Chinki male who peered over my shoulder and walked away and waited in distance. After I get the number, the lone wolf rushes off and joins the Chinki guy. And thus it occurs to us that its her boy friend. In front of whom we number closed his girl. Now, I know for sure that this is not a solid close. But what the heck.. it was at least worth a hearty laugh.
Friday, May 23, 2008
FR: 60 - 0 in 3.5, YAQC
This is big one for me. It shattered one of my limiting beliefs. I am biker dude. Thing is I love the freedom/maneuverability/speed the motor-bike offers me. And I always wanted to do an off-the-bike approach, for which the time was just right today :-). Plus I always wanted to "Sarge while I am Out" rather than "Go out to sarge"... mean to say meet new ppl while doing the day to day activities rather than to have to specifically go out to meet new ones.
Enough of setting the stage... on with the FR.
Its Nine in the morning and I am cruising @ 60 KMPH. Even though it is mid summer I can feel the coooool wind on my face for it had rained heavily the previous day. Clear skies clean streets cool breeze what else does a biker need. As I was riding my 'girl', I was mentally going thru a list of activities that I need to complete @ work. Something in my peripheral vision distracted me.. something in white top and blue jeans. It took me about .5 seconds to realise that it was lone wolf about 8 on my scale. As I rode past her, voices in my head debated whether to approach or not to. I decided to do it anyways and braked hard for about 3.5 seconds until the digital speedometer showed O KMPH.
Parked my 'girl', got off her. Removed my helmet. Brushed off imaginary dust off my shoulders. Set off towards the HB. With my chest out, chin held up and a big smile on my face, approaching her from her side. During the 10 seconds walk to the target, I couldn't help but admire her curves ;P. As approach near to her she got it from her peripheral vision that I was about to approach her. Girls and their intuition..kinda amazes me sometimes.
Drake : Excuse me.
HB : (Turns towards me)
Drake : (Big smile on my face)Hey Hi.
HB : (Confused Smile) Hi.
As she said this she kinda turned to face me. (Saw the face was a bit disappointed as the face value was just of a 7.. but that ain't stopping me from going on.
Drake : I was just passing by.. I saw you. Thought you are kinda cute. Wanted to come and meet you. (Thrusting my hand out) I am Preetham.
There is goes on yet again.... the chirstmas tree light i.e.
HB : I am HBSlp. (Smile)
Drake : Nice meeting you HBSlp.
I barely completed the above sentence.
HBSlp: So you are working somewhere ?
Guess she is in a hurry to jump off to comfort stage :PPP.
Drake : blah blah blah. You working or studying??
HBSlp : I am working as well as Studying. Doing ma MBA.
Drake : Oh no... One more of those HR girls yeah. (Playfully delivered) :-)
HBSlp : :-). Actually I am into Finance.
Drake : And where do you work?
HBSlp : XYZ software firm. blah blah blah.
fluff tease flirt for another minute.
HBSlp : So are u on ur way to work ?
Drake : yeah. You.
HBSlp : Yeah. Waiting for a friend of mine. He is supposed to come and pick me up from.
And right then I hear ring tones from her cellphone. Guess its was her 'pickup and drop' service aka her bodygaurd. As she continued to give directions to her 'pickup drop service' I slowly pulled out my phone. And waited for her to end the call.
HBSlp : (cutting the call) Its m friend whose is picking me up.
Drake : AH OK. .....
HBSlp : :-)....
Drake : Hey I gtg now... getting late for college.
HBSlp : College ???
Drake : Oh did I say college.. I meant office.. I guess I am bit nervous.
HBSlp : :-) :-) :-)
Drake : It was nice meeting you. I would like to keep in touch. Whats your number.
HBSlp : Sure... my number is XXXXXXXXXXX.
I store the number and give her a call so that she has my number.
HBSlp : Gimme a call sometimes.
DRake : Sure. Bye.
HBSlp : Bye.
I had this sense of satisfaction and achievement as I was walking back towards my 'girl'. :-). It feels really good to inculcate the whole 'pickup' thing in ur day 2 day activities.
And I was writing this FR I at least got four calls from HBSlp. It definitely on. But that kinda turns me off a bit.
Lessons:
1. Direct is fucking awesome... no unnecessary beating around the bush.
2. Quick closes are not necessarily the lucky ones.
PS: YAQC :: Yet Another Quick Close.;-)
Enough of setting the stage... on with the FR.
Its Nine in the morning and I am cruising @ 60 KMPH. Even though it is mid summer I can feel the coooool wind on my face for it had rained heavily the previous day. Clear skies clean streets cool breeze what else does a biker need. As I was riding my 'girl', I was mentally going thru a list of activities that I need to complete @ work. Something in my peripheral vision distracted me.. something in white top and blue jeans. It took me about .5 seconds to realise that it was lone wolf about 8 on my scale. As I rode past her, voices in my head debated whether to approach or not to. I decided to do it anyways and braked hard for about 3.5 seconds until the digital speedometer showed O KMPH.
Parked my 'girl', got off her. Removed my helmet. Brushed off imaginary dust off my shoulders. Set off towards the HB. With my chest out, chin held up and a big smile on my face, approaching her from her side. During the 10 seconds walk to the target, I couldn't help but admire her curves ;P. As approach near to her she got it from her peripheral vision that I was about to approach her. Girls and their intuition..kinda amazes me sometimes.
Drake : Excuse me.
HB : (Turns towards me)
Drake : (Big smile on my face)Hey Hi.
HB : (Confused Smile) Hi.
As she said this she kinda turned to face me. (Saw the face was a bit disappointed as the face value was just of a 7.. but that ain't stopping me from going on.
Drake : I was just passing by.. I saw you. Thought you are kinda cute. Wanted to come and meet you. (Thrusting my hand out) I am Preetham.
There is goes on yet again.... the chirstmas tree light i.e.
HB : I am HBSlp. (Smile)
Drake : Nice meeting you HBSlp.
I barely completed the above sentence.
HBSlp: So you are working somewhere ?
Guess she is in a hurry to jump off to comfort stage :PPP.
Drake : blah blah blah. You working or studying??
HBSlp : I am working as well as Studying. Doing ma MBA.
Drake : Oh no... One more of those HR girls yeah. (Playfully delivered) :-)
HBSlp : :-). Actually I am into Finance.
Drake : And where do you work?
HBSlp : XYZ software firm. blah blah blah.
fluff tease flirt for another minute.
HBSlp : So are u on ur way to work ?
Drake : yeah. You.
HBSlp : Yeah. Waiting for a friend of mine. He is supposed to come and pick me up from.
And right then I hear ring tones from her cellphone. Guess its was her 'pickup and drop' service aka her bodygaurd. As she continued to give directions to her 'pickup drop service' I slowly pulled out my phone. And waited for her to end the call.
HBSlp : (cutting the call) Its m friend whose is picking me up.
Drake : AH OK. .....
HBSlp : :-)....
Drake : Hey I gtg now... getting late for college.
HBSlp : College ???
Drake : Oh did I say college.. I meant office.. I guess I am bit nervous.
HBSlp : :-) :-) :-)
Drake : It was nice meeting you. I would like to keep in touch. Whats your number.
HBSlp : Sure... my number is XXXXXXXXXXX.
I store the number and give her a call so that she has my number.
HBSlp : Gimme a call sometimes.
DRake : Sure. Bye.
HBSlp : Bye.
I had this sense of satisfaction and achievement as I was walking back towards my 'girl'. :-). It feels really good to inculcate the whole 'pickup' thing in ur day 2 day activities.
And I was writing this FR I at least got four calls from HBSlp. It definitely on. But that kinda turns me off a bit.
Lessons:
1. Direct is fucking awesome... no unnecessary beating around the bush.
2. Quick closes are not necessarily the lucky ones.
PS: YAQC :: Yet Another Quick Close.;-)
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
An apple a day
Going out almost everday for the past two weeks now. Yeah, a few times I invariably have to skip and I cant help it. But other than that I follow this "everyday spend 1/2 an hour meeting ppl" like a cult religion. Results, been encouraging. The game is 'getting back' in ma veins again. :-). Though this time the focus is entirely on direct game. Spot stop show interest.. bam go for close.. as easy as that. Have learnt a trick or two. But the most mind boggling thing about direct game is that it can lead to superfast closes. For example:
Stop a HB with her friends pass by me. PBR nuggles me. And I run back.
Me : Hey excuse me (Huge Smile).
Big ones disarms the set, the bigger the better. Perverts!!! I am talking about the smile. What better way to say that I am the most friendliest kid on the block.
HB : (Smiles back with a puzzled look.. like do I recognise this guy from somewhere)
Me : Hi, I just passed by you. I reckon I kinda like you. Had to come and say a Hi to you. I am Preetham.
HB : (Ya chirstmas tree is lit) I am HBCutie. :-)
Me : (to the HBFriend) And you ?
HBF: Blah blah.
So I decided to get the most fanciest of the tricks from my basket. Yeah Fluff.
Me : So what you guys do?
One is studying in a post college of the city and the other is doing law in another fundu college.
Ok, my basket of tricks is almost empty well with in 2 minutes.
Me : Ok, guys was nice meeting you two. I gotta run now. But I really enjoyed meeting you. Hope we can catch up sometime later. Lets exchange numbers.
HB : I am sorry I dont do numbers.
ME : Email then.
HB : Sure, but before that what do you do ? (he he he)
ME : blah blah blah
HB : OK email id is.......
Well mail close within two minutes of meeting. Never could have done the same with the indirect openers. Thing to note is that I didn't work to build attraction. Either, the direct opening is itself very attractive or ma body lang would have fking good. I feel like I am so in my own skin doing of direct ones. Since, I have conveyed the interest upfront going for a quick close isn't a issue.
But, I see something that missing...
1. Attraction. Build some attraction with banter.
2. Deep EC might help. I will test this out.
This at least a single approach a day is really improving ma game. This is coz the very first approach is the toughest one. So if we can manage 1 every day. AA can be managed to a controllable level.
Tats it for now. But watch out for more post.
Stop a HB with her friends pass by me. PBR nuggles me. And I run back.
Me : Hey excuse me (Huge Smile).
Big ones disarms the set, the bigger the better. Perverts!!! I am talking about the smile. What better way to say that I am the most friendliest kid on the block.
HB : (Smiles back with a puzzled look.. like do I recognise this guy from somewhere)
Me : Hi, I just passed by you. I reckon I kinda like you. Had to come and say a Hi to you. I am Preetham.
HB : (Ya chirstmas tree is lit) I am HBCutie. :-)
Me : (to the HBFriend) And you ?
HBF: Blah blah.
So I decided to get the most fanciest of the tricks from my basket. Yeah Fluff.
Me : So what you guys do?
One is studying in a post college of the city and the other is doing law in another fundu college.
Ok, my basket of tricks is almost empty well with in 2 minutes.
Me : Ok, guys was nice meeting you two. I gotta run now. But I really enjoyed meeting you. Hope we can catch up sometime later. Lets exchange numbers.
HB : I am sorry I dont do numbers.
ME : Email then.
HB : Sure, but before that what do you do ? (he he he)
ME : blah blah blah
HB : OK email id is.......
Well mail close within two minutes of meeting. Never could have done the same with the indirect openers. Thing to note is that I didn't work to build attraction. Either, the direct opening is itself very attractive or ma body lang would have fking good. I feel like I am so in my own skin doing of direct ones. Since, I have conveyed the interest upfront going for a quick close isn't a issue.
But, I see something that missing...
1. Attraction. Build some attraction with banter.
2. Deep EC might help. I will test this out.
This at least a single approach a day is really improving ma game. This is coz the very first approach is the toughest one. So if we can manage 1 every day. AA can be managed to a controllable level.
Tats it for now. But watch out for more post.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Ugly blow outs
Been craving to discuss this with y'all. Its concerning a sticking
point of mine. Handling those Extra special blowouts. Generally there
is nothing much that we can do when set doesn't respond at all to
whatever you throw at them. But handling a blow out where the girl
goes to a great extent to blow you out. Consider this blowout for
instance.
I was out in a mall with my wing Flamin. Spot a cute set of 2.
Target : 8.5 Cutie. As they walk past me. I stood there for a second
before I turn back and walk towards the set covering the gap in brisk
paces. At about an arms length away.
Drake : Hey Guys.
As I utter this, I stop her with a confident soft Kino on her left
shoulder using the face of my palm. The Kino was firm, friendly one
(or thats what I felt :?). Whatever it was, it works and it gets to
stop them.
Drake : I saw you walk past me just now. I couldn't help but walk up
to you and compliment you.
HB : .... (Scowl on the face)
Drake clearly senses the calm before the storm.
HB : (Strong firm voice) First of all why did you touch me ?
As I pictured yet another incarnation of lordess Durga in front of me.
She reloaded her shot gun and aimed for bulls eye (a.k.a Preetham
a.k.a Drake:)
HB : Whenever you want to speak to a person. You should first say
"excuse me". And then you have to maintain a distance of at least 3
feet.
I know for sure there is nothing wrong with the way opener was
delivered. On previous occasions the same compliment + Kino combo has
worked for me. Think, she just had a bad day @ work or may be she was
in the r8 mood to yell @ a hot alpha male dude ;P.
Drake : (Took a step back to maintain the distance) I think this gap
between us should be good enough. ( Had a huge dumb ass smile on the
face ).
My bad shouldn't have bought her frame. Mistake mistake mistake. Let
me say it again. Never buy into her frame, especially if she is being
a bitch to you. Instead of taking a step back, could have taken a step
towards her (to lessen the gap) and say "Is that good enough?". But it
kinda risky in a mall environment.
HB : Now listen here. I don't want any of your compliments.
Drake had enough. Without missing a beat.
Drake : OK GO. (ya reacted emotionally and walked away with a "I don't
give a middle finger" attitude)
I felt good about not being affected by the rejection & my will to
walk away. But, while debriefing me and my wing feel that we could
have handled situation better. May be with a cool head. May be
something on the following lines.
Drake : ( Being Genuinely nice) Hey relax it was just a friendly
touch. Seems like you are already having a bad day. Its really ok, if
you don't want to be complimented. Have really nice evening guys.
Thanks for talking to me.
Being the nice guy here :
1. Shows that u r in control of your reality
2. Makes her feel like a bitch for being one to you. Who knows she
might bump into you later and apologize.. while you playfully tease
her to set u up with her hot friends and thus be nice to you in
return.;-)
Well, guys what do you think. How else could we handle a ugly blow out
like this ? Key in your thoughts here. I wont assure a surprise gift
for cool thoughts though. :-)
point of mine. Handling those Extra special blowouts. Generally there
is nothing much that we can do when set doesn't respond at all to
whatever you throw at them. But handling a blow out where the girl
goes to a great extent to blow you out. Consider this blowout for
instance.
I was out in a mall with my wing Flamin. Spot a cute set of 2.
Target : 8.5 Cutie. As they walk past me. I stood there for a second
before I turn back and walk towards the set covering the gap in brisk
paces. At about an arms length away.
Drake : Hey Guys.
As I utter this, I stop her with a confident soft Kino on her left
shoulder using the face of my palm. The Kino was firm, friendly one
(or thats what I felt :?). Whatever it was, it works and it gets to
stop them.
Drake : I saw you walk past me just now. I couldn't help but walk up
to you and compliment you.
HB : .... (Scowl on the face)
Drake clearly senses the calm before the storm.
HB : (Strong firm voice) First of all why did you touch me ?
As I pictured yet another incarnation of lordess Durga in front of me.
She reloaded her shot gun and aimed for bulls eye (a.k.a Preetham
a.k.a Drake:)
HB : Whenever you want to speak to a person. You should first say
"excuse me". And then you have to maintain a distance of at least 3
feet.
I know for sure there is nothing wrong with the way opener was
delivered. On previous occasions the same compliment + Kino combo has
worked for me. Think, she just had a bad day @ work or may be she was
in the r8 mood to yell @ a hot alpha male dude ;P.
Drake : (Took a step back to maintain the distance) I think this gap
between us should be good enough. ( Had a huge dumb ass smile on the
face ).
My bad shouldn't have bought her frame. Mistake mistake mistake. Let
me say it again. Never buy into her frame, especially if she is being
a bitch to you. Instead of taking a step back, could have taken a step
towards her (to lessen the gap) and say "Is that good enough?". But it
kinda risky in a mall environment.
HB : Now listen here. I don't want any of your compliments.
Drake had enough. Without missing a beat.
Drake : OK GO. (ya reacted emotionally and walked away with a "I don't
give a middle finger" attitude)
I felt good about not being affected by the rejection & my will to
walk away. But, while debriefing me and my wing feel that we could
have handled situation better. May be with a cool head. May be
something on the following lines.
Drake : ( Being Genuinely nice) Hey relax it was just a friendly
touch. Seems like you are already having a bad day. Its really ok, if
you don't want to be complimented. Have really nice evening guys.
Thanks for talking to me.
Being the nice guy here :
1. Shows that u r in control of your reality
2. Makes her feel like a bitch for being one to you. Who knows she
might bump into you later and apologize.. while you playfully tease
her to set u up with her hot friends and thus be nice to you in
return.;-)
Well, guys what do you think. How else could we handle a ugly blow out
like this ? Key in your thoughts here. I wont assure a surprise gift
for cool thoughts though. :-)
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