Direct revelations

Its altogether a different feeling when you are meeting (at least trying to :-) new people amidst your day to day activities. I feel that finally (after so much of struggle, and practice) meeting new ppl is becoming so much so like a second nature to me. I am opening in all sorts of places. Street while on the way to work. Coffee shops while I am out with my cousins. While with friends. I want to be at a stage where I do not specifically want to go out to meet new ppl.

The other day me and my cousin were hanging out at this JPNagar CCD. My cousin is kinda natural guy (but unfortunately doesn't do cold calls.) He points out to me that a lonewolf 9 just walked in and is sitting "over there". It takes a while for me to pump myself before I get myself to approach her.

I walk up as she finished her sandwich. I pulled a chair in front of her with a big smile. And park my ass right next to her. I extend my arm towards her.

Me : Hi, I am Preetham.
HB : ( 90% Neutral 10% Pissed ) I don't know you!!!
Me :(Still the hand stretched out and still smiling) Thats why I am introducing my self. I am Preetham.
HB : (80%:20%:P) So!!!
I let my hand stay there in front of her. Hoping at least that leaving it there would make the moment so uncomfortable that she would have to eventually shake hands with me. But she is a tough nut to crack. I leave the palm in front of her for about 7-8seconds. But no luck.
Me : (Pointing to myself) Me and my cousin (Pointing to my cousin) over there were just about to leave the cafe. I saw you.. just want to come and say you a Hi.
HB : (Perfect blank.. no expression) (Starts sorting out her bill)

I sit there for about 5 more seconds before realizing that it is going anywhere but down.

Me : (Smile wide) It was pleasure meeting you (no not the sarcastic vibe but sincere vibe). Have a nice evening miss.

As I walk back to my cousin. I punch the air with my fist. And re-iterate to myself "Congrats you did your approach of the day".

Just as we came out side CCD. I had to attend a call. My cousin notices that the same HB is coming out of the CCD and is kinda staring at me while she ejects the place. (Girls.. aren't they crazy!!!). I couldn't notice her 'coz I am facing away from the exit of the CCD.

I thought about the approach later. I would have preferred pacing the approach before actually going for the introduction. If we notice above that I introduce myself first and then pace it (may be I was nervous.. quite possible). Thus it occurred to me that its time to structure/refine my approach.

Elements that I would like to incorporate in my approach.

1. Politeness (even at the expense of alphaness)
2. Outcome independent.
3. Coolness and composedness.
4. Mix of laid back and being interested.

Structure :
1. Have a big smile even before you approach:
You are already having fun. Plus the smile increases the attractiveness of your face by at least 10 times.

2. Begin with a "Excuse me":
This might come across as less alpha. But makes approach more polite and decent. You come across as less player like.

3. Get them to answer your first question with a yes:
Yes -> Acceptance. Once they accept you its kinda difficult to reject you. More often than not.. the Yes train continues.

Ex:
Me : Excuse me. If I ain't disturbing you can I sit by you for a minute.
She : Yes.
(Note the (false) time constraint as well)

4. Pace the intro. Genuine Compliment and introduce.
Ex : Me and my cousin were just about to leave the CCD I happen to notice you. I had to to come and meet you. 'Coz I think you have a great sense of dressing. I am Preetham.

5. Shake hands and get to know her name. If she has company, pay equal attention to her friends.

6. Banter, flirt and make their day.

7. Pace the close.
Example :- Lack of time have to run now. But definitely would like to hangout again. Lets swap numbers.

8. Ejecting (even if you are blown out) Smile at her. Sincerely thank her for talking and eject blissfully. Just make sure you convey using your body lang that u aren't affected by the outcome.

Ex : Blow out
She : Get the fuck off from here dude.
Me : Oh !!! Pardon me. didn't mean to offend you or something. It really was my pleasure meeting you. Have a wonderful day ahead. (smile and eject).


Now I have to get myself in the field and practice this. Check this space for updates on the results.