Slow ramping your way through AA.

Its often the case that I am like literally overcome by AA. I really wanted to find way around it. Yesterday I tried out a new approach for approaching which resulted in less approach anxiety.

I realized that its important to approach even the UGs continually if not anything this will keep you in top form and help you with the next Hottie that you might encountered.
It also made a lot of sense when I started small and ramped up slowly step by step.  And above all its imperative that you just do the first five sets you see when you are in the field. If you avoid these five sets it would set up a very bad (negative) start for your evening. If you miss any of the first five sets you might as well go back home just then as save yourself some time.

Anyway this is how I ramped up yesterday.

Set 1:
Opener : What a good shop around here to buy some ladies footwear.

Set2:
Opener : What a good shop around here to buy some ladies footwear.
Opener2 : Get the answer to the question and followup with 2nd question which transitions into Tom Boy opener.

Set3:
Opener : What a good shop around here to buy some ladies footwear.
Opener2 : Get the answer to the question and followup with 2nd question which transitions into Tom Boy opener.
Opener3 : Try to transition into personal

Set4:
Opener : What a good shop around here to buy some ladies footwear.
Opener2 : Get the answer to the question and followup with 2nd question which transitions into Tom Boy opener.
Opener3 : Cut the stupid indirect opener and transition into a direct.

Set5 :
Opener : Direct.


This way I am slowly and continuously ramping up the approach ladder busting the approach anxiety little by little. If you are total beginner you might consider something as basic as asking time or direction and slowly working you way up-to transition phase over a course of some 10-15 sets.

One more stuff that really helped me (not just in PU but my Day to Day life as well). Don't be a slave to micro avoidance. When you want to do something that you wanna do but avoid or procrastinate (even smallest of things like tidying up your desk which would take like a minute or so) you take a hit on your self esteem. You think less of yourself. Over the course of the day the micro-avoidance will degrade your self esteem. So say NO to avoiding stuff and set yourself up for success. (For more on Micro-avoidance refer to Sixty Years of challenge)

Direct revelations

Its altogether a different feeling when you are meeting (at least trying to :-) new people amidst your day to day activities. I feel that finally (after so much of struggle, and practice) meeting new ppl is becoming so much so like a second nature to me. I am opening in all sorts of places. Street while on the way to work. Coffee shops while I am out with my cousins. While with friends. I want to be at a stage where I do not specifically want to go out to meet new ppl.

The other day me and my cousin were hanging out at this JPNagar CCD. My cousin is kinda natural guy (but unfortunately doesn't do cold calls.) He points out to me that a lonewolf 9 just walked in and is sitting "over there". It takes a while for me to pump myself before I get myself to approach her.

I walk up as she finished her sandwich. I pulled a chair in front of her with a big smile. And park my ass right next to her. I extend my arm towards her.

Me : Hi, I am Preetham.
HB : ( 90% Neutral 10% Pissed ) I don't know you!!!
Me :(Still the hand stretched out and still smiling) Thats why I am introducing my self. I am Preetham.
HB : (80%:20%:P) So!!!
I let my hand stay there in front of her. Hoping at least that leaving it there would make the moment so uncomfortable that she would have to eventually shake hands with me. But she is a tough nut to crack. I leave the palm in front of her for about 7-8seconds. But no luck.
Me : (Pointing to myself) Me and my cousin (Pointing to my cousin) over there were just about to leave the cafe. I saw you.. just want to come and say you a Hi.
HB : (Perfect blank.. no expression) (Starts sorting out her bill)

I sit there for about 5 more seconds before realizing that it is going anywhere but down.

Me : (Smile wide) It was pleasure meeting you (no not the sarcastic vibe but sincere vibe). Have a nice evening miss.

As I walk back to my cousin. I punch the air with my fist. And re-iterate to myself "Congrats you did your approach of the day".

Just as we came out side CCD. I had to attend a call. My cousin notices that the same HB is coming out of the CCD and is kinda staring at me while she ejects the place. (Girls.. aren't they crazy!!!). I couldn't notice her 'coz I am facing away from the exit of the CCD.

I thought about the approach later. I would have preferred pacing the approach before actually going for the introduction. If we notice above that I introduce myself first and then pace it (may be I was nervous.. quite possible). Thus it occurred to me that its time to structure/refine my approach.

Elements that I would like to incorporate in my approach.

1. Politeness (even at the expense of alphaness)
2. Outcome independent.
3. Coolness and composedness.
4. Mix of laid back and being interested.

Structure :
1. Have a big smile even before you approach:
You are already having fun. Plus the smile increases the attractiveness of your face by at least 10 times.

2. Begin with a "Excuse me":
This might come across as less alpha. But makes approach more polite and decent. You come across as less player like.

3. Get them to answer your first question with a yes:
Yes -> Acceptance. Once they accept you its kinda difficult to reject you. More often than not.. the Yes train continues.

Ex:
Me : Excuse me. If I ain't disturbing you can I sit by you for a minute.
She : Yes.
(Note the (false) time constraint as well)

4. Pace the intro. Genuine Compliment and introduce.
Ex : Me and my cousin were just about to leave the CCD I happen to notice you. I had to to come and meet you. 'Coz I think you have a great sense of dressing. I am Preetham.

5. Shake hands and get to know her name. If she has company, pay equal attention to her friends.

6. Banter, flirt and make their day.

7. Pace the close.
Example :- Lack of time have to run now. But definitely would like to hangout again. Lets swap numbers.

8. Ejecting (even if you are blown out) Smile at her. Sincerely thank her for talking and eject blissfully. Just make sure you convey using your body lang that u aren't affected by the outcome.

Ex : Blow out
She : Get the fuck off from here dude.
Me : Oh !!! Pardon me. didn't mean to offend you or something. It really was my pleasure meeting you. Have a wonderful day ahead. (smile and eject).


Now I have to get myself in the field and practice this. Check this space for updates on the results.

FR: 60 - 0 in 3.5, YAQC

This is big one for me. It shattered one of my limiting beliefs. I am biker dude. Thing is I love the freedom/maneuverability/speed the motor-bike offers me. And I always wanted to do an off-the-bike approach, for which the time was just right today :-). Plus I always wanted to "Sarge while I am Out" rather than "Go out to sarge"... mean to say meet new ppl while doing the day to day activities rather than to have to specifically go out to meet new ones.

Enough of setting the stage... on with the FR.

Its Nine in the morning and I am cruising @ 60 KMPH. Even though it is mid summer I can feel the coooool wind on my face for it had rained heavily the previous day. Clear skies clean streets cool breeze what else does a biker need. As I was riding my 'girl', I was mentally going thru a list of activities that I need to complete @ work. Something in my peripheral vision distracted me.. something in white top and blue jeans. It took me about .5 seconds to realise that it was lone wolf about 8 on my scale. As I rode past her, voices in my head debated whether to approach or not to. I decided to do it anyways and braked hard for about 3.5 seconds until the digital speedometer showed O KMPH.

Parked my 'girl', got off her. Removed my helmet. Brushed off imaginary dust off my shoulders. Set off towards the HB. With my chest out, chin held up and a big smile on my face, approaching her from her side. During the 10 seconds walk to the target, I couldn't help but admire her curves ;P. As approach near to her she got it from her peripheral vision that I was about to approach her. Girls and their intuition..kinda amazes me sometimes.

Drake : Excuse me.
HB : (Turns towards me)
Drake : (Big smile on my face)Hey Hi.
HB : (Confused Smile) Hi.

As she said this she kinda turned to face me. (Saw the face was a bit disappointed as the face value was just of a 7.. but that ain't stopping me from going on.
Drake : I was just passing by.. I saw you. Thought you are kinda cute. Wanted to come and meet you. (Thrusting my hand out) I am Preetham.

There is goes on yet again.... the chirstmas tree light i.e.
HB : I am HBSlp. (Smile)
Drake : Nice meeting you HBSlp.
I barely completed the above sentence.
HBSlp: So you are working somewhere ?
Guess she is in a hurry to jump off to comfort stage :PPP.

Drake : blah blah blah. You working or studying??
HBSlp : I am working as well as Studying. Doing ma MBA.
Drake : Oh no... One more of those HR girls yeah. (Playfully delivered) :-)
HBSlp : :-). Actually I am into Finance.
Drake : And where do you work?
HBSlp : XYZ software firm. blah blah blah.
fluff tease flirt for another minute.
HBSlp : So are u on ur way to work ?
Drake : yeah. You.
HBSlp : Yeah. Waiting for a friend of mine. He is supposed to come and pick me up from.
And right then I hear ring tones from her cellphone. Guess its was her 'pickup and drop' service aka her bodygaurd. As she continued to give directions to her 'pickup drop service' I slowly pulled out my phone. And waited for her to end the call.
HBSlp : (cutting the call) Its m friend whose is picking me up.
Drake : AH OK. .....
HBSlp : :-)....
Drake : Hey I gtg now... getting late for college.
HBSlp : College ???
Drake : Oh did I say college.. I meant office.. I guess I am bit nervous.
HBSlp : :-) :-) :-)
Drake : It was nice meeting you. I would like to keep in touch. Whats your number.
HBSlp : Sure... my number is XXXXXXXXXXX.

I store the number and give her a call so that she has my number.
HBSlp : Gimme a call sometimes.
DRake : Sure. Bye.
HBSlp : Bye.

I had this sense of satisfaction and achievement as I was walking back towards my 'girl'. :-). It feels really good to inculcate the whole 'pickup' thing in ur day 2 day activities.

And I was writing this FR I at least got four calls from HBSlp. It definitely on. But that kinda turns me off a bit.

Lessons:
1. Direct is fucking awesome... no unnecessary beating around the bush.
2. Quick closes are not necessarily the lucky ones.

PS: YAQC :: Yet Another Quick Close.;-)

An apple a day

Going out almost everday for the past two weeks now. Yeah, a few times I invariably have to skip and I cant help it. But other than that I follow this "everyday spend 1/2 an hour meeting ppl" like a cult religion. Results, been encouraging. The game is 'getting back' in ma veins again. :-). Though this time the focus is entirely on direct game. Spot stop show interest.. bam go for close.. as easy as that. Have learnt a trick or two. But the most mind boggling thing about direct game is that it can lead to superfast closes. For example:

Stop a HB with her friends pass by me. PBR nuggles me. And I run back.

Me : Hey excuse me (Huge Smile).
Big ones disarms the set, the bigger the better. Perverts!!! I am talking about the smile. What better way to say that I am the most friendliest kid on the block.

HB : (Smiles back with a puzzled look.. like do I recognise this guy from somewhere)

Me : Hi, I just passed by you. I reckon I kinda like you. Had to come and say a Hi to you. I am Preetham.

HB : (Ya chirstmas tree is lit) I am HBCutie. :-)

Me : (to the HBFriend) And you ?

HBF: Blah blah.

So I decided to get the most fanciest of the tricks from my basket. Yeah Fluff.
Me : So what you guys do?

One is studying in a post college of the city and the other is doing law in another fundu college.

Ok, my basket of tricks is almost empty well with in 2 minutes.
Me : Ok, guys was nice meeting you two. I gotta run now. But I really enjoyed meeting you. Hope we can catch up sometime later. Lets exchange numbers.

HB : I am sorry I dont do numbers.

ME : Email then.

HB : Sure, but before that what do you do ? (he he he)

ME : blah blah blah

HB : OK email id is.......

Well mail close within two minutes of meeting. Never could have done the same with the indirect openers. Thing to note is that I didn't work to build attraction. Either, the direct opening is itself very attractive or ma body lang would have fking good. I feel like I am so in my own skin doing of direct ones. Since, I have conveyed the interest upfront going for a quick close isn't a issue.

But, I see something that missing...
1. Attraction. Build some attraction with banter.
2. Deep EC might help. I will test this out.

This at least a single approach a day is really improving ma game. This is coz the very first approach is the toughest one. So if we can manage 1 every day. AA can be managed to a controllable level.

Tats it for now. But watch out for more post.

Exam.. will I do well

My sister will be very tense and anxious these days. The anxiety peaks at about 10:00 AM in the morning every 4 days or so. If I talk to her the response I get is far from logical. If at all I get one. The only thing that occupies her mind is exams and the anxiety of "whats gonna happen". But amazingly she tops her class always... well almost ;-).

Did you ask for my commentary ? A Bad case of exam-anxiety is what I can say about my sis. But don't we all suffer from it (except for a few 'cool dudes' of the class who were Marijuanated by the time our exams started). The degree to which an individual gets affected and the symptoms vary. But every one has it and its only natural. Its body's mechanism to keep us alert when something important is gonna happen. If it weren't for that excitement/nervousness/anxiety I would simply doze off just before or during the exams :P.

Well this is how my typical exam anxiety pattern was.
The exam anxiety would peak before 5 minutes the exam actually started. The pen would be slippery. I would even notice the cold sweat that drenched my armpits. Irrational thoughts like "what if the questions are tough?" "What if out of syllabus questions were in the paper?"
Just before I would "Open" the paper the anxiety would be at it max. I would always gasp before 'opening' the paper.
I would size up the paper before proceeding. The very first question would be tough to read .. but almost always turn out to be a easy one and that would ease me very much.

By the time I finished answering the first question if anybody were to ask me "What is exam anxiety ?" I wouldn't know the answer. :-)

When attending academic exams. The stakes were very high. If you flunk, you would lose out a semester or even worse I wouldn't finish the course. Parents might take me to task (at least they used to do when I was in high school). Might loose few friends (coz they would move on the next grade). You can only take the same exam after say about 3 or 6 months. You will have to prepare hard for the exam. A 100 other such terrible things in the list.

Now how would u like an exam in which u can flunk 1000 times and no-body would utter a word about failing. In fact people would only appreciate the fact that you 'approached' the exam. Further, the stakes are all in your favor. If you fail you loose nothing and may be even gain some experience. If you win however.. do the math yourself ;-). This is the kind of a business in which u invest very little, loose almost nothing but the rewards are huge. And this exam can be taken every five minutes and nobody gives a s**t about it. Every time u take up the exam u learn something new. :-)

Killing AA - One approach at a time.

Today in the field was a gr8 one. Though I opened a single set it went ok. But I got into 'the state'. Looking back at it few things which helped me to get into the state were :
1. The confident chest out walk like I own the place.
2. Smooth talk in a confident, deliberate way.
3. Tonality was gruff - And somehow this pumped up my confidence.
4. 3second rule was honored.

One more thing that I have decide is to do atleast one approach a day. Like on the way to work or in a coffee shop or in a bookstore... like anywhere I can find chicks. I think I will implement this seriously.