Direct revelations

Its altogether a different feeling when you are meeting (at least trying to :-) new people amidst your day to day activities. I feel that finally (after so much of struggle, and practice) meeting new ppl is becoming so much so like a second nature to me. I am opening in all sorts of places. Street while on the way to work. Coffee shops while I am out with my cousins. While with friends. I want to be at a stage where I do not specifically want to go out to meet new ppl.

The other day me and my cousin were hanging out at this JPNagar CCD. My cousin is kinda natural guy (but unfortunately doesn't do cold calls.) He points out to me that a lonewolf 9 just walked in and is sitting "over there". It takes a while for me to pump myself before I get myself to approach her.

I walk up as she finished her sandwich. I pulled a chair in front of her with a big smile. And park my ass right next to her. I extend my arm towards her.

Me : Hi, I am Preetham.
HB : ( 90% Neutral 10% Pissed ) I don't know you!!!
Me :(Still the hand stretched out and still smiling) Thats why I am introducing my self. I am Preetham.
HB : (80%:20%:P) So!!!
I let my hand stay there in front of her. Hoping at least that leaving it there would make the moment so uncomfortable that she would have to eventually shake hands with me. But she is a tough nut to crack. I leave the palm in front of her for about 7-8seconds. But no luck.
Me : (Pointing to myself) Me and my cousin (Pointing to my cousin) over there were just about to leave the cafe. I saw you.. just want to come and say you a Hi.
HB : (Perfect blank.. no expression) (Starts sorting out her bill)

I sit there for about 5 more seconds before realizing that it is going anywhere but down.

Me : (Smile wide) It was pleasure meeting you (no not the sarcastic vibe but sincere vibe). Have a nice evening miss.

As I walk back to my cousin. I punch the air with my fist. And re-iterate to myself "Congrats you did your approach of the day".

Just as we came out side CCD. I had to attend a call. My cousin notices that the same HB is coming out of the CCD and is kinda staring at me while she ejects the place. (Girls.. aren't they crazy!!!). I couldn't notice her 'coz I am facing away from the exit of the CCD.

I thought about the approach later. I would have preferred pacing the approach before actually going for the introduction. If we notice above that I introduce myself first and then pace it (may be I was nervous.. quite possible). Thus it occurred to me that its time to structure/refine my approach.

Elements that I would like to incorporate in my approach.

1. Politeness (even at the expense of alphaness)
2. Outcome independent.
3. Coolness and composedness.
4. Mix of laid back and being interested.

Structure :
1. Have a big smile even before you approach:
You are already having fun. Plus the smile increases the attractiveness of your face by at least 10 times.

2. Begin with a "Excuse me":
This might come across as less alpha. But makes approach more polite and decent. You come across as less player like.

3. Get them to answer your first question with a yes:
Yes -> Acceptance. Once they accept you its kinda difficult to reject you. More often than not.. the Yes train continues.

Ex:
Me : Excuse me. If I ain't disturbing you can I sit by you for a minute.
She : Yes.
(Note the (false) time constraint as well)

4. Pace the intro. Genuine Compliment and introduce.
Ex : Me and my cousin were just about to leave the CCD I happen to notice you. I had to to come and meet you. 'Coz I think you have a great sense of dressing. I am Preetham.

5. Shake hands and get to know her name. If she has company, pay equal attention to her friends.

6. Banter, flirt and make their day.

7. Pace the close.
Example :- Lack of time have to run now. But definitely would like to hangout again. Lets swap numbers.

8. Ejecting (even if you are blown out) Smile at her. Sincerely thank her for talking and eject blissfully. Just make sure you convey using your body lang that u aren't affected by the outcome.

Ex : Blow out
She : Get the fuck off from here dude.
Me : Oh !!! Pardon me. didn't mean to offend you or something. It really was my pleasure meeting you. Have a wonderful day ahead. (smile and eject).


Now I have to get myself in the field and practice this. Check this space for updates on the results.

FR: UGs blow you out

One more smooth open to day morning at SSS my usual adda for BF. As I
enter in I find this 3 set munching on in their Dosas. Not that cute a
set. But, then I remembered the lair myth of "UGs blow you out" and
decided to take the challenge. I got my plate of Dosa and walk up
confidently towards the table where there are sitting.

Me : Hey guys, can I join
you?
And I give them all an confident EC.
The UG and another 'not so UG' has a neutral look on their face. While
the cuter one had a confused 'whats wrong with this guy' look. I
employed the silence to do the trick for me. Stood for about 3 seconds
without a word. Then one of the girls smile at me and say

HB2 : Yeah sure.
Preetu : Thank you guys.
I know at this point that either I start talking or get them to close-
up. So I blabber out some random thing that occured to me.

Preetu :
Seems like you guys are having a lazy saturday.
HB1 : Yeah kinda :-)
Preetu : U guys look like u r just outta bed and came directly for ur
BF.

All of them smile.

Preetu : I am Preetham and you guys ?
At this point HB3 gets a call and leaves the table.
HB1 : I am HB1
HB3 : I am HB3

Preetu: nice meeting u guys.
Preetu: So u guys working somewhere??
HB1 : yeah we are.
Preetu : U guys look like u guys are roommates. U
guys must be staying in a PG or something around here.
HB1 : yeah we are roomies.
Preetu : Where are u guys from ?
Turns out that one is a GULT another is a Tamilian and third one is
from Goa.
Preetu : Ohhhh ! You guys are into national integration or
something :-).
They laugh and I am a bit releived at this point.
HB1 : What about you ?
Preetu : I am a Kannadiga. There is a small town called XXX . I am
from there.
HB1 : I know that place. One of my friends is from the same city.

At this point HB2 is done with talking on phone and joins in.
Preetu : I got everybody's name here... but not yours. I am
Preetham.
HB2 : I am HB2. < Dont kno why but I can see that in her eyes that she
is happy to meet me>

Employing Mr Silence again. I allow the conversation to die out just
to test whether they will pick on it or not. And sure they did.

HB1 : Where do you work ?
I give it to them straight without even a attempt of being a assmodel,
lointamer or use and throw pen repairman. And then they tell me as to
where they work and stuff. At this point I know am completely in. I
dont know about IOIs and stuff, I wasn't even looking out for one of
them. For I was there to get into 'conversataional mood'.

Preetu: U know what guys as I walked into the restra. I saw u guys and
I was like "Wow ... Charlie's Angels". You are like Lucy liu, u are
like D.B and u are CD. Where is the charlie guys ???

And all of them crack up. And thats it. We talk for a few minutes.
After a few minutes of talking, they were done with their food and
took my leave. I was left there sitting alone and thinking something
like "Who said 'talking to strangers' ;-) is tough". I sure saw a
window for #close but my AFC evil twin brother shut me up. Somebody
fuck this stupid twin of mine.

Anyways it was a nice set to begin my day with. I got into mood. I am
hitting field soon after I am done with posting this. I sure am in
mood to do more such things.